Ready...Set....BANANAS!!

Yesterday, December 26 was my birthday. I turned fourteen. I think that the older you get the more you start reflecting on life. It just makes since, right? I mean... We are getting older so why not think back and reminiss on the past. On of the things I remember most is when my brother or friends and I would play racing games or red light green light and my mom would always trick us. All the kids would be lined up, ready to run like the wind and try and win. She would always say " Ready.… Set… BANANAS!!"....for the kids who didn't know the trick they would start but then realize she didn't say go. She would do that repeatedly, changing words so instead of banana she'd say goooats or something. Everyone just thought it was so funn.

I really miss being a kid. Everyone at this age is just so eager to grow up and leave and get life started. Me? I wanna be a little 4 year old again… I jus want to be little- the world just seemed like a beautiful, magical place when you were young. A world with no evil, no war, no hunger, no poverty-a place where Santa was real. That place just seems so fantastic.

Life just seems so difficult. I know it's nothing compared to being an adult. But- I just don't get it. Being a kid is HARD adults were ounce this age... Why can't they help us handle adolescence better? I mean- you all know those "It Gets Better" videos? Well what the hell happened to that? I mean someone who made a video killed themselves! I mean.... What happened to make this such a cruel, indecent world?
…I feel like I'm getting way to much off topic…
Okay- so back to the whole reminiscing! Well... I don't really remember a good to honest birthday I've had. The haven't been terrible or anything... Just not greeat. Like last year I had the most terrible birthdY party ever. There was crying, fighting and just- I can't even talk about it without wanting to scream and cry. It was a surprise party... A terrible one at that.

I feel as if everything's too fucked up and like there's nothing I can do abut it... I just want to pack up, leave behind letters for people then just disappear. You're probably thinking "What? Disappear? What about your friends and fMily? Where would u go tatum?"
Well random person reading my blog. I would go to Canada. Yes-i said Canada.
Canada seems awesome and it's not in a war or a bad economy... So yeah-I'd just move to canada and no one would know...
Except for you...

But that'll just be Our Little Secret